Simple friendships

Today on my way back from work, via the market, I walked past a guy who runs a little restaurant. He once gave Helen and I a free meat pie and has been keen for me to go back and sit and chat with him ever since. I always turn him down, giving excuses about how busy I am, how I have to get home to cook dinner, how I am meeting friends etc but today I couldn’t think of a good enough reason not to stop by and talk for a while.

I really didn’t want to stay long, so when he offered me a drink I declined, telling him that I ‘didn’t want to take sugar today’. This is a very African expression that I have heard a lot, and have been storing up to use for a while now. Unfortunately his reply was, ‘fine I will make you a coffee…’ and off he went. Damn – that didn’t quite go to plan!

The next thing I knew I was sitting down with a coffee and a meat pie in front of me. At first things were relatively safe, with some chat about how the day had been, how my work had been, and whether the fact Manchester United and Manchester City football teams indicated that Manchester was really two separate cities. All of a sudden things moved onto rockier ground…

Him: Since the first time I met you I knew you were very kind, and you went straight into my heart.

Me: Oh. Umm. You do know I have a boyfriend though don’t you?

Him: Yes yes that is fine. We can just have a strong friendship.

Me: No I don’t think that that is fair on my boyfriend. I don’t want a strong friendship.  We can only be friends, nothing more.

Him: Ok yes that’s fine. We can have a simple friendship.

Me: But does a simple friendship mean we are just friends?

Him: No it means that anytime that you have some free time away from your boyfriend you can call me and I will take you out, but I will know that it’s not too serious. It’s ok though because I am very discreet and very good at keeping secrets. And also I would never disturb you or call you when you are with your boyfriend, because that might make him angry and cause him to be aggressive towards you.

Me: Oh right. I see. Is that the time, I really must go… [Sharp exit stage left].